Shamed into Silence

Sonia Charales

I grew up in a home

Where the language we spoke was “foreign”

A place where we spoke without shame

Where the words spoken were true

I always looked for a balance

I found silence

 

Was I to remain in silence?

Abandon the language of my home

Trying to find a balance

Between the new and the “foreign”

When the words felt true

Was there no escape from shame?

 

I never felt such shivering shame

Until other kids shunned me into silence

The teachers saw my words far from true

They demanded that my words be left at home

Treated me as if I was foreign

Their force caught me off balance

 

I lost my balance

Slipped and fell into shame

For my words being foreign

I found myself in silence

Missing the words of my home

Speaking the words that felt true

 

If only they understood what felt true

I tried to find balance

Between the languages of school and home

I never thought it would be such a shame

It was better to remain in silence

Until I forgot the foreign

 

They told me to forget the foreign

To learn words that never felt true

My tongue curled back in silence

Never found the balance

My lips sewn shut from shame

I cried all the way home

 

May my foreign words find balance

As they were always true yet they brought me shame

At least my silence died at my home

Sonia Charales is a student who studies science and literature. Along with being a student, she is a writing tutor and tries to help other students develop confidence in their writing skills. In her free time, she enjoys giving back to her community, reading, leading creative writing workshops, and of course, writing. She writes poetry in both English and Malayalam and discusses cultural experiences in her work.